Monthly Archives: January 2012

Post-partum…

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I’m showing my son to the blog world for the first time. He just turned two months when this photo was taken. My son, he is very precious to me. I look at him and see myself again as an infant. He got my forehead, my small thin lips and cute chin. His eyes are combination of his dad’s and mine; his cheekbones from his father as well as his nose. I still cannot say if his complexion is from me or Tope because sometimes he turns so red then fair.

In the first week after I had given birth to him via cs, I had difficulties doing the role of a mother. When Evo & I arrived in my in-laws home from the hospital, I couldn’t help but cry. I felt downright depressed because I thought I wouldn’t see my mama for a long time because of Evo. I didn’t know how to take care of him. Breastfeeding him was not enough; he still cries even after I breastfed him and that only added to my misery. I felt helpless being alone with Evo. I didn’t know how to stop him from crying at the top of his lungs. When mama and tita Bless visited me there, I once again burst into tears. I realized how hard becoming a mother was and I know I badly needed mama’s help. I felt so sorry for all the heartaches I’ve caused her. She’s still the one I could run to. Thank you ma.

Lucky me I skipped past labor pains, didn’t feel any of those. I was given instructions to undergo cs procedure due to oligohydramnios(low amniotic fluid) which I diligently obeyed to save Evo. Moving around with a cut in my lower abdomen was no joke. I cringe in pain every time I made an effort to sit, stand or walk. I had heavy bleeding for more than 7weeks and it took me 54 long days before I finally felt normal. Now, do I want to have a child again after Evo? I don’t know. I’m still in trauma and I just want to take care and love him unconditionally. I couldn’t imagine dividing my time for him and his siblings. Sorry bi, I am happy with Evo alone-no more additional babies alright?