For more than two weeks now that I have been unemployed, I did nothing but tended to my baby Evo and husband dear. The first week went by a bit easy since Evo’s nanny Kimberly helps me take care of Evo. I was able to cook lunch and dinner for bi that time. His menu last week includes spaghetti, pork caldereta, pork giniling, beef steak, chicken macaroni soup, and pork in mushroom and oyster sauce. I stopped cooking when Evo’s nanny left again to take care of his father currently confined in the hospital. I kinda doubt that. We told her to return by Monday, July 23 since it is my first day of work at the City Information Office. Unfortunately, she ditched us again. We tried calling her but to no avail. She doesn’t even answer our calls. My career in CIO was compromised because of what she did. I cannot leave my son unattended so I have no other choice but to stay home and take care of Evo. I just texted ate Marvie that I am hoping to start working by August 1 as soon as we find a new nanny for Evo. It’s July 31 now but still there’s no sign of Kimberly nor new nanny applicant. Sigh…
Staying at home made me realize that I too have been losing some of my stuffs too. I lost my sunnies, Lee jeans, couple of walking shorts, nightie shirts, and Bench panties. I told bi about it and found out that mommy lost plenty of valuable items as well. She lost her ring, watch, some cash, new top, digicam, plenty more. This is really bad.
What kind of supervisor would send his/her employee to an NPA-besieged area for a worthless task beyond his/her job description? You are supposed to protect the life of your workers, not endanger them! You’re also married right? What would you do if your spouse’s boss ordered him/her go to a war zone to look for a missing shoelace? Would you let your spouse go there knowing how foolish that task is, and that he/she might never return alive? Do you even know the word empathy? I guess not because you wouldn’t even consider sending any of your employees in that horrible place if you know that word.
For months I have endured the ordeal you had put my husband through. You acerbically cut down his monthly travel reimbursements, assigned him to far-flung areas especially during the time that I just gave birth, deliberately denied him his per diem, made him work beyond office hours without OT pay, punished co-workers akin to him, and consistently oppressed him at any given chance. I lost count of the times my husband had arrived home late at night exhausted after driving a hundred kilometers back and forth from his area or famished after leaving office past 9PM. I can no longer remember how many times I consoled my husband from depression after receiving his monthly TEV that you had decreased unjustly. And this doesn’t end there. Couple months ago, he was stricken with chronic pneumonia, and was scheduled for infirmary confinement. He declined hospital admission orders so his doctors just advised him to rest at home for two weeks. Instead of granting him ample time to recuperate, you gave him orders to travel to Roxas for field work. I argued with him not to leave but to no avail. Despite his illness, he still left me and Evo for fear of being reprimanded of inaction to your orders. To sum up, my husband is overworked yet underpaid; overqualified but belittled; intelligent but silenced (for you call his witty, and systematic suggestions nothing but “epal”); helpful but abused (he always offers driving for her using his own DMAX pick-up whether paid or not); and most of all, he is output-based yet disregarded. The only flaw I see in him is being tardy at times yet he compensates it for working extra hours UNPAID even until dawn or during weekends just to accomplish his tasks.
Why are you punishing him for being honest, systematic and straightforward? Did it badly hurt your ego when he wrote in his report the mistakes he had observed in your past activities? Did he smudge your reputation when he vented out his feelings to a sympathetic supervisor? You are a team leader for chrissake why can’t you be open to suggestions? You are not being bypassed like what you always complain about your employees. Please stop being a slave driver. Stop driving me and my husband insane! It’s no secret that your priority is work over family, but please NEVER force your employees to emulate you. They have their own family and a happy life waiting for them beyond the four corners of your office and after the mandated regular working hours.
My husband told me not to post anything about his supervisor for it might jeopardize his work. I don’t care anymore. I have been quiet and patient, but she’s getting worse and now, I have to intervene. When he told me yesterday that his boss instructed him to go to Lisap, Bongabong, a mountainous area notoriously populated by rebels/NPA, I almost fainted. An affluent-looking civilian going in rebels’ territory is suicide! I couldn’t bear the thought of him getting mobbed, kidnapped, hurt, or worse, killed. I will not allow her insane order to validate a petty hunch about a double entry beneficiary endanger my husband’s life. I’ve had enough of her nonsense and coercive actions with my husband. I must act now. Writing this is the first step; composing myself to confront her soon is next. I must add, I am now finding ways to report her directly to the head office.
I still feel like we just left Palawan yesterday. What is left with us are just memories. No words could describe Palawan’s nature. Watching tortoises swim in the crystal green water near our boat going to Underground river was definitely breathtaking. I want to come back there, and when that time comes, bi & I will be taking our little Evo with us.
Two more days to go, and we’ll already be there in Palawan. I’m pretty excited on bi & I’s upcoming first wedding post-anniversary celebration together. Better late than never. We’ll definitely be like young honeymooners even though our purpose is more of relaxation, and traveling together actually.What I did today in preparation for our trip was read blogs about random people who had already experienced cruising in the famed Underground river. I can’t help but get dumbstruck looking at the crystal green waters in their pictures. If I’m already amazed simply by looking at the river’s pictures, how much more if I’m seeing the whole place up close?
It will take us approximately 3 long drive hours going to Sabang beach from Pto. Princesa city proper. From there, we’ll take a 15-minute boat ride going to the Subterranean river. It is advisable to wear light clothes like swimming shorts, plain t-shirts, and slippers if bi and I would like to take a dip in the nearby white sand beach afterwards. I better slather more sunblock. I am now thinking of investing in a pricey SPF120 sunscreen just to protect my naturally pale, not rosy white, skin tone. This will be my first time in three years to expose myself under the sun for hours. I have issues regarding prolonged sun exposure especially without umbrella because some years ago when I still love playing under the sun for hours, I compared myself to others, and got stunned with such an alarming result. Well, unlike others I didn’t get the glorious, matte-tanned summer complexion, instead, I became heavily oiled and bronzed all over! But I don’t want to compromise our tour so I’m gonna step out of the sun, and have fun with him. I have a feeling that it’s gonna be all worth it:)
Bi and I also bought a bikini recently for this particular trip. I’m kinda hoping I could have guts to try it on, and maybe capture some nice shots wearing it (with a decent cover-up of course) with the lush green tropical trees and pristine waters as my background. Bi won’t allow me to wear it without cover up by the way. What more can I say? I am just so excited. Before we go there we’ll be watching a PBA game live too with bi’s boys. I am rooting for Rain or Shine to win over Ginebra Kings, and seeing them win will definitely bring good vibes to me, and bi.
I got a call from ate Joy a minute ago, and she asked if I’m still up for, you know, pursuing what I once dreamt of becoming. I cited reasons like financial constraints, and time as to why I haven’t signed up yet but before I ended our conversation, I disclosed how interested I still am.
I set June 11 as our tentative date. No pad, no other plans. What should I take with me? All I can bring is a blank check which I will present upon payment of the necessary fees. I’m excited but full of apprehensions at the same time. I am just happy my incredibly smart cousin, ate Joy, will be my classmate too.
I am currently playing the role of an employee, a wife, and most importantly, a mother. I suppose I am not yet busy enough so I can still include the role of being a student once more. MBA is not enough. I never should have taken it up in the first place. I still regret how much of a waste I’ve done. It’s not too late. I can still do this. I have to do this for my Evo, for my family, and for myself. I always feel minuscule next to my husband but no more once I finished this appalling yet inexplicably force-drawing degree/profession that I have always wanted. God help me.
I’ve thought about making a tribute entry about my beloved lolo couple of weeks ago but I hesitated. Why should I write one when he’s still with us? I hoped and prayed that he remains strong, but as the days passed by, he only grew weaker. Mama, bi & I paid him a visit last March 11 and saw how weak he had become. Sitting on his reliable rocking chair is my frail and thin lolo Panching. I reached for his long, bony fingers and placed it on my forehead (nagmanoako), so did mama and Tope. I kissed lolo on his cheeks, he smelled clean like always, and then he flashed his sweetest smiled as gratitude. I asked how he was feeling but he can no longer speak. I knew in my heart he’s just waiting for the inevitable. It pains me seeing him like that. But I know it would hurt me more not seeing him anymore. Still I chatted with lolo, told him to eat more so that he will be strong again. Then lola sat beside us and showed lolo the things we brought: adult diapers, Cobra energy drink, cookies, and Lysol which was requested by tita to keep lolo’s surroundings germ-free. Lola stacked the cookies in lolo’s cookie box container and then mama opened one for lolo to eat. Lolo smiled again and went on to chew the small chocolate cookie.
I remember his last days. He was quiet; spending most of his time sitting on his rocking chair pondering perhaps on his family, the simple yet good life he will leave behind. Lolo was filled with love. We may not be always beside him but I know he can feel how much we love him. To be continued…
How can I ever forget all these years we spent together? I first set foot in this office when I was only 18. I was hired as a part-time writer for Crew’s newsletter, and it was my third job from the day that I became a working student back in college. Time flies so fast. Its been five long years already and now I’ll be leaving you.
One lazy afternoon, a year ago at exactly 3:30PM, bi & I found out about Evo. He jumped for joy while I cried in fear because I knew right then that my life will change; that I’ll be a young mum soon! I couldn’t stop crying so bi wiped my tears, hugged me tightly (except my tummy area which he didn’t want to squeeze) and kept saying “Bebe, I love you. I love our baby & I am truly happy.”
Now, we are doting parents to a healthy, cute, & well-behaved baby boy who recently turned 4months old. Evo is indeed a blessing and he has changed our lives for the better. We ♥ you anak:)
I posted this in my Facebook account last Feb 7 and amazingly had around 55 likes from families and friends! It meant a lot to me letting everyone know that our son Evo has always been a blessing since the day we found out about him. I may have my worries and fears before but I have forgotten all of it the moment I felt him kick inside my tummy. I hope and pray that in God’s grace Tope & I can be the best parents to our little seraph. May he always be an angel to us. XOXO
Underneath is my baby Trevor Vincent who recently turned 4months old. He’s one charming baby isn’t he?:)
Thank you Lord for this wonderful day we spent with my dearest lola and lolo! It’s lola Ett’s 86th birthday today and I’m very grateful she’s still with us. I reckon last year we went to Sapul driving my good old avocado car and I brought them pancit palabok sa bilao. Now, it was bi who drove for us there. Jen was also 7 months pregnant with Binggee then and now, I’m the one who’s 28 weeks pregnant. Lola misses her other grandchildren and her two sons who aren’t there with us to celebrate namely; Jep, ate Gzeth, Jen & Raf, Sheanne, ate Boom & kuya Mark, Cha, Clok, Joem, Clik, Clark, Kobe, tita Ruby, tito Dinky, tito Eric and tita Edith. Despite that, lola still felt blissful because their two great grandchildren; Eliniel and Lexi were present. She was also greeted by Jep through phone call. Making the party jubilant also is the celebration of tito Red bday and Binggee’s 10th monthsary. We served lots of food like tomato spaghetti, Alfredo spaghetti, hotdogs, pancit bihon, crema de fruta, birthday cake, lechon kawali, pork hamonado, pizza, Italian flat bread and ice cream in four different flavors. I was so full! Bi and I handed our gifts to lola & I was so happy to see her smile this big “:D”. She had liked the Anlene Gold, 2 Spam ham and 1 Palm corned beef, but what she loved more was the love letter I handed her later. I even saw lola touch it twice. God please grant my prayers always that she and lolo will always be strong even if it means giving up my strength for the two of them. I love my lolo and lola! Tonight, I also gave Lexi a small gift; a little pink Hello Kitty bolster pillow and for Binggee, 25 pieces of diaper. Who could ever resist these two cute cherubs? No matter how tough it is for mama and papa to take care of their first grandson, they never complained because it’s all worth it. By Christmas time, there will be three babies in the family. Baby Trevor truly wants to meet his great grand mom and granddad already.:)
Dreams are ineffectual. Why do you have to continue dreaming for something better when everything and everyone else shame you? Yes, I am a total loser and I suppose you guys are totally happy to hear that. I had been a dork to believe in stupid fairy tales ages ago. I thought dreaming would give me hope. It did give me a sham hope in a box all adored with beautiful gift wrap. Watching it from afar had given me bliss. Even the mere glances at it made me ecstatic, making me feel like nothing is impossible. I always hesitate before opening a gift. Oftentimes, it’s taking me quite ages before I find courage to peek on what’s inside. But no, the very hope I was able to gain became useless the day I opened the box. It was a false hope, nothing but a stupid dream. I opened the box and saw nothing but emptiness, all lies. Where’s my hope? I cried until tears failed to come out. Everything is a lie until you believe it.
I used to dream that I can help make our lives better as it used to be once. But the ones who should shelter me with love and care, ironically, are the persons dragging me to my downfall. I’m tired of dreaming. I’ve had enough of endlessly getting hurt. I have no hope left. My life doesn’t count anymore. Soon, you, the very reason of my existence, will drown me in the pool of darkness. I am now preparing myself to that inevitable demise because time flies fast. It will be soon. Hope isn’t around anymore. Everyday that I’m walking, hope incessantly drifts away. It is slowly killing me.
God, all I need is divine intervention. Forgive me.
Sometime in early 2009