Category Archives: Preggers

A famous Filipino sculptor, Napoleon Abueva, once quoted, “A woman is most beautiful when she is pregnant.”

Post-partum…

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I’m showing my son to the blog world for the first time. He just turned two months when this photo was taken. My son, he is very precious to me. I look at him and see myself again as an infant. He got my forehead, my small thin lips and cute chin. His eyes are combination of his dad’s and mine; his cheekbones from his father as well as his nose. I still cannot say if his complexion is from me or Tope because sometimes he turns so red then fair.

In the first week after I had given birth to him via cs, I had difficulties doing the role of a mother. When Evo & I arrived in my in-laws home from the hospital, I couldn’t help but cry. I felt downright depressed because I thought I wouldn’t see my mama for a long time because of Evo. I didn’t know how to take care of him. Breastfeeding him was not enough; he still cries even after I breastfed him and that only added to my misery. I felt helpless being alone with Evo. I didn’t know how to stop him from crying at the top of his lungs. When mama and tita Bless visited me there, I once again burst into tears. I realized how hard becoming a mother was and I know I badly needed mama’s help. I felt so sorry for all the heartaches I’ve caused her. She’s still the one I could run to. Thank you ma.

Lucky me I skipped past labor pains, didn’t feel any of those. I was given instructions to undergo cs procedure due to oligohydramnios(low amniotic fluid) which I diligently obeyed to save Evo. Moving around with a cut in my lower abdomen was no joke. I cringe in pain every time I made an effort to sit, stand or walk. I had heavy bleeding for more than 7weeks and it took me 54 long days before I finally felt normal. Now, do I want to have a child again after Evo? I don’t know. I’m still in trauma and I just want to take care and love him unconditionally. I couldn’t imagine dividing my time for him and his siblings. Sorry bi, I am happy with Evo alone-no more additional babies alright?

Pleasant Surprise

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I was bored last Friday so I kept messaging him to come home right after his regional meeting at Torre Venezia Suites. I tried to control him not to go with his office mates to Mall of Asia where they decided to go shopping. “Bi, it’s MOA’s first day of sale and I just got my salary. Let me buy you something”, he said. I hesitated because I don’t want him spending beyond his means. Then I gave in afterward because I don’t want us to have arguments regarding finances. It would be better if I’ll let him enjoy his pay, go on a shopping spree while its sale for the meantime.

While strolling around MOA, he asked if I want a new watch. Being the stingy person that I am, I simply replied, “Ayoko ng mahal.” At that moment, I knew I’ll be receiving a watch by the time he arrives home. I thought that maybe it would be something quite like the Glee watch he previously bought me; not pricey yet cute. Before he went to MOA, I asked only for two things, 1 for me and 1 for baby: a ceramic straightening & curling iron if its below 1,000php, and an electric baby bottle sterilizer for baby. He was in front of Watson’s when he phoned me to ask about the hair iron. The cheapest was around 1,800php & I couldn’t get myself to spend such amount so I decided not to make him buy the stuff anymore. He didn’t tell me if he bought the watch already so I don’t mind not receiving any pasalubong. I just want him home. It’s been five long days already and I miss him badly. Seeing him home safe and sound is the best pasalubong for me.

I went to mom that night since he’ll be arriving past midnight. I told him to fetch me there when he arrives. I chatted with mama and played with my nephew until we both fell asleep. By 12:30AM, bi called to say he and daddy’s parked outside already waiting for me.

He looked excited upon seeing me and baby; not a hint of exhaustion after a long and tiresome day. When we arrived home, he gave me the stuff he bought in the supermarket for me. Then inside our room, he handed me a green paper bag from Prestige and inside it was a crystal encased dainty Esprit watch which I estimated to be around 4k+. “I told you not to be buy anything expensive.” I blushed while blurting out my reaction. I tried it on and it looked more beautiful on my left arm. “Thank you bi. I really appreciate it.”, I remarked. I was busy scrutinizing my watch when he asked if I want more pasalubong to which I didn’t reply. On that instant, he took a leather encased stuff from his luggage which I instantly thought was another expensive diary. “Wow, is that a diary for me?” I was jubilant because he knows how much I love scribbling and writing, and maybe that’s why he bought me a pricey diary. “Yes, its a diary. Go check it out.”, he grinned in between his reply. So I took it and opened its leather casing. I was in total awe when I finally saw what’s inside. It wasn’t just a diary but an electronic diary/book/cellphone etc. It was a chic Samsung Galaxy tablet!

Again I replied, “Sabi ko naman ayaw ko ng mamahalin eh.” Silly me. I was touched. How could I not have any clue that all these times that I’ve been quite emotional, he’s been thinking about things/ways to cheer me up. I realized he’s been planning this all along. “This way you won’t need to buy an iPod, new cellphone or netbook anymore.”, bi said. And I do love it bi, thank you very much. To show my appreciation even in this simple way, I snapped a picture of my loving husband; the very first photo in my new tablet:)

Thoughts on Evo

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We saw baby for the second time in 3D during my second try on that apparatus last Friday, August 5. Baby looks bigger now and his cheeks are fluffier. I hope I am able to give the nourishment that my son needs. We’re lucky because his face was almost 100% captured. I look at my son and feel blessed to have him in my life. I wish to give you the life I never had sweetie; the good life filled with the gifts of love, family, and friends. Every night I close my eyes and pray to God that you’ll be okay. I love you Evo. I have fallen in love with another boy again the moment I saw you even on UTZ only.

Baby and mommy’s development

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Because she knew how joyous and handful it was to be pregnant, ate Tere gave me a pregnancy journal upon knowing the news about my conception. I was fascinated with the idea of writing down fragments of my pregnancy and I thanked her much for her wonderful gift. I want to write down about my pregnancy here since the questions and information filled up in my journal is quite limited. Meanwhile, in this post, anything goes. It is a synthesized account of my journey throughout my first pregnancy. I hope this can somehow help and give ideas to the other planning to be moms, expecting moms or hopeful moms out there. Our experiences in pregnancy vary. We are alike in one way or other, but one thing is for sure, you will surely treasure one of God’s greatest gift to women, the joy of femininity in pregnancy.

First month — Ten days later after we found out I’ve conceived, we returned to my ob-gyne for another ultrasound; our first attempt before didn’t show baby. I felt uneasy having to take off my bottoms so that the stick-like ultrasound apparatus (I don’t know what it’s called) could fit inside me. Then, on the screen above we saw him. It made us smile. He is a bit smaller for his age according to Dra. Magno, yet he already has a heartbeat. I keep using the pronoun “he” because I hope my first baby’s a boy. We had our baby’s image printed and upon taking a closer look I realized baby looks like an egg yolk. I think he looks very cute. Then, folic acid, baby holding medications and Anmum milk were prescribed to me. I still feel normal, nothing’s new except that on the first week when I didn’t know about baby yet, I was ranting much at bi and I get constipated most of the time which was normal for me.

Second month — I still wear fitting jeans but this time I had to leave the top button open. I fear that I might suffocate baby if I’ll lock those buttons. Taking the medicine which will help tighten baby’s grip on my womb always makes me hungry. I suppose it was the drug’s side effect. I, as always, was still very picky on food. I will only drink my medicines once my craving for Chinese food especially noodles like lomi, wanton and canton, were satiated. That’s a bit comforting for bi because, luckily, Calapan has three Chinese restaurants: Peking Siopao, Wing Wah and Chowking. Also, I started despising ginisa odor which I love sniffing when I wasn’t preggy yet. This bad feeling also made me refrain from cooking. I hope this doesn’t last long. So far, that was my only olfactory sensitivity which isn’t that bad. I hear other pregnant women disliking the smell of rice, perfumes, soap, shampoo even food, and that’s a big problem. On my second month, we again paid my ob-gyne a visit. Dra. Magno is our common friend since his husband is our fellow Rotarian. They are a very nice couple. Speaking of couple, bi and I became officially engaged on my second month. Both our families now knew. Bi was so protective of me that even our wedding preparations were all done by him. Back to Dra. Magno, she’s very nice because she doesn’t charge us consultation or ultrasound fees whenever I had my check-up. Because of her, we get to see our baby every month almost for free and we are very grateful. Again I pulled down my jeans a bit, laid down, felt the cool jelly being spread on my belly by the apparatus and wait for the image to appear on screen. This time, baby looks like a cute little tadpole.

Third month — I have a different body clock since during my normal days I sleep late like 1AM is the earliest. Then, I also wake up late wherein 10AM is the earliest for me. This unhealthy sleep pattern of mine might have influenced my morning sickness. I don’t experience it during daytime but always at night before I go to sleep. I call it evening sickness. Sometimes, in the morning I would only puke if I smelled or tasted sauteed onions and garlic. I tried controlling it but I just can’t. I still sleep late, but I tried to make my sleeping time 11PM by drinking warm milk before bedtime. It works! I may find it difficult sleeping early at night but during daytime I sleep a lot, mostly after lunch. I take siesta¬† whenever work permits me. It was also on my third month that I finally stopped wearing jeans and opted for leggings that aren’t tight on my belly. Once, while inside the cathedral attending a mass for my confirmation, I almost passed out. It was a humid Sunday morning and the church was pretty congested and everyone was standing. I was also wearing jeans which added to the factors that caused me to suddenly experience darkening vision and deafening ears. If I hadn’t sat down, I might have fallen. Good thing, bi was seated beside me and also tita Nora handed her white flower and fan to us which really helped. Lessons learned: never mingle with others in a congested area, always bring a fan and a white flower, stop wearing jeans and drink liters of water. We had another check-up and ultrasound to check baby’s growth. My cute baby now has visible head and protruding spine.

Fourth month — I started sporting my new accessory, a baby bump. Some meticulous people started noticing it not that I walk in public places nor flaunt it. They are just into gossips and other stuffs that I had to simply avoid being seen in public. Bi, being the protective fiance or daddy he is and would be, would regularly drive me to and from work and confine me in his car whenever I have errands to run. He doesn’t want me walking because he thinks baby gets stressed doing so. He avoids that I get seen by other people as well. We cannot simply invite everyone who finds out in our wedding. That would be just too much. Aside from drowning myself from work with accounting, management and supervisory tasks, I also play mind-boggling games like puzzles and scrabble while answering any sort of reviewers in between. This way I feel like I’m studying and in the process my baby studies also. I want my baby to be a genius! Before I sleep, I always pray for my family and loved ones. I pray hard also that our baby will become healthy, intelligent, God-fearing, generous, loving and perfect-looking. Am I asking for too much? Sometimes after I pray and before I close my eyes, I would feel a gentle pulse in my womb. It makes me feel happy knowing baby responds and baby also prays together with mommy. I had my check-up last April 14 and we were glad to see baby’s development. He looks like a real baby now, only smaller. He is sleeping peacefully with his face lying flat on my womb while curled like a ball. We had his image printed and showed it to our parents.

April 12, 2011 — Still on my fourth month and about 4 1/2 weeks when Dra. Magno finally detected our child’s gender. Bi and I couldn’t hide our happiness upon hearing that baby appears to be having balls! Bi moved closer to the ultrasound monitor and scrutinized baby’s image as Dra points out baby’s private parts. “If it’s a girl it should shape like a burger but since we see something protruding between the fetus’ thighs, then there’s 90% chance that your baby’s a boy.”, Dra. Magno disclosed. We just can’t wait to share this good news on our wedding date! Thank you Lord!

May 21, 2011 — Mommy and daddy’s big day! Today, bi and I tied the knot. I woke up around 8AM at home and prepped myself up since I’ll be getting dressed in our reserved hotel rooms. Bi, had his separate room as well. He shared it with Bunik’s bf, Ger. Custom says that the couples are not supposed to see each other on their wedding day until they’ve reached the church altar. Funny ’cause we’re both occupying the same floor in Filipiniana. We couldn’t hide our happiness; seeing our families and the people we love cheering for us, seeing my husband beaming with joy as I approach him on the altar. That day, I felt that God truly blessed our union.

Fifth month — Baby started kicking mommy’s tummy. He expresses his longing to be touched by his daddy simply by kicking continuously inside my tummy. Once his daddy rests his palm on him, he stops and behaves himself. I feel that he already recognizes the differences in mommy and daddy’s touch and voices. His lolo Boying started calling him “Einstein” by now for he believes he’ll be a smart boy. I do hope he becomes a very smart kid. His daddy and I traveled a lot during his fifth month since it was approved by my doctor. We went to Tagaytay with fellow RCDC members, celebrated Father’s day by watching PBA, short vacation at Acuatico, Batangas, shopped for baby and sleepover at Lipa. Bi also fetched mommy upon her arrival in NAIA on our final vacation day. Even though we went to a lot of places and did plenty of things, I never felt exhausted. Baby has been very cooperative all throughout our trip and I think he also enjoyed being part of our adventures. I remember baby kicking to the beat of the PBA music when we’re watching it. It’s like he’s cheering also for his parents’ favorite team, Rain or Shine. My tummy is protruding now since baby is already bigger. In his ultrasound, he can no longer be measured as a whole but by portion. My vitamins are more of Obimin now and Vitamin C.

Sixth month — Because baby constantly grows, stretchmarks started appearing on my lower belly. I cried the first time I saw those small pinkish marks and couldn’t get past through it for days. My cousin Louie told me it will be okay, these stretchmarks are our battle scars; reminder of our sacrifices for our husband and child. It was only then that I felt better. I don’t blame my son for it, I blame it to my brittle skin. Once bitten by a mosquito, it becomes dark. Even when my skin gets slightly scratched, it becomes wounded. Baby and I walks every afternoon from mom’s clinic to home for our exercise. So far, nothing has changed. I can still walk without pain despite my onerous tummy. I am not yet “manas” and I don’t want to experience that. I am starting to get chubbier now. My face starts to get rounder and my chest and tummy veins are more obvious now. Baby listens whenever I am singing. He seems at peace with soft music. We had our hosting gig for the Induction Ceremonies at the Rotary Club of Downtown Calapan and has been very helpful. I think he’s listening intently while I’m saying my spiels.

Seventh month — Baby and I again had a hosting gig again. This time we were paid a thousand bucks for 3 hours of hosting. It was during the blessing of the Acacia and Molave Village graced by Atty. Berberabe, the Pagibig Housing Development Fund president. It was a hot day yet baby did not complain. I could feel his solitude because he never distracted me while I was hosting. I rewarded baby by singing mellow songs to him that night. His daddy started working also on my seventh month. We want baby to know that we love him dearly and that we want to provide his needs. I am now bigger. One night, bi joked about having me go through Ceasarian section the following day because I can already deliver baby at 28 weeks! That night I dreamed about it and felt so scared. By the time I reached 30 gestation weeks, baby & I underwent 3D ultrasound so that we can visualize his features already. He’s so cute (with fluffy cheeks, stubby nose and shapely lips) and he looks very much like his daddy. He is 100% boy now as proven by the 3D shot of his little birdie. I hope I will deliver a healthy, intelligent, loving and handsome baby boy.

Eight month — Few more weeks and I will deliver him to the world. It was during this month that I felt my little son getting so much heavier day by day. I can feel the strain on my back and hips whenever I sit or sleep for hours. This month is very crucial because there is a greater probability that babies born during this month have small chance of survival according to the maternity books I have read. I got so scared that I became extremely cautious. This prompted me to reduce my daily afternoon walks to once or twice a week for fear that I might bump my burgeoning belly into something or get cursed by the countless “Badjao” walking around the city these days. I even distanced myself too far from cars’ doors because I’m scared of hitting my tummy while slamming the door real hard. Bi’s tolerating my few sweet cravings lately but I still make it a point to prioritize healthy foods, milk & vitamins. However, 8th month has been quite a depressing one for me and baby. Bi started making me feel bad (refer to “Depressing 32nd week” entry) and I remember feeling extremely dizzy due to excessive crying when he said/did something bad to me. For days, I cannot sleep well because even when I close my eyes my head still rotates. I can’t control myself not to cry and I felt this also affected baby. He rarely kicked during those times. He never kicked back when his daddy touches him when I was mad at bi. It was like baby felt my pain and was mad at his daddy for hurting mommy too. I think he’s showing an EQ that way too. To distract ourselves, I finished preparing baby and mommy stuffs for my nearing due date also at this month.

Ninth month — I started my ninth month munching lots of fruits like rambutan, lanzones, atis, grapes and bananas. I am trying my best to drink more than 8 glasses of water a day too. I still don’t feel any contractions yet I am preparing myself already for the big day.

The day we found out

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Bi just picked me up from work. I must admit, it was a stressful day after having paid the company’s employee contributions for SSS, Philhealth and HDMF so my spirit’s not high. He initially planned to grab afternoon snacks but I wasn’t really in the mood. He then asked if I want to go somewhere but I refused going anywhere. I just feel like taking a rest. Out of the blue, he mentioned that he’ll just buy a PT on our way home since my monthly visitor hasn’t arrived yet. I simply replied, “No. We are both aware that you will again be disappointed.” But my words of discouragement didn’t stop him from purchasing that stuff from the drugstore. When we arrived in his place, he immediately ordered me to go to the blue house and get the test done which I reluctantly obeyed. I didn’t consider the possibility that the result I was expecting would turn out to be the opposite.

It didn’t take long for me to find that out. I already started crying the moment those two red lines appeared. Bi, who was waiting outside, frantically asked if I was okay. He didn’t wait for me to come out from the toilet. When I opened the door and he saw me crying, he just ran past me with big smile on his face. He wanted to see the result himself. Upon seeing it, he knew he was going to be a father. I curled up the bed and continued crying. Bi, on the other hand, was jumping for joy. He kept shouting, “Yes! Yes! Nakatao rin sa wakas!” He was so happy that I felt guilty because I kept crying. How can I be happy when I know in my heart my life will totally change now. I started thinking about my family especially mama, her dreams for me now shattered. She wanted me to leave Mindoro for good and try my luck in Manila while pursuing Law. Meanwhile, I was thinking about taking up DPA in UP instead of Law after my MA here. (I was quite ambitious you see) Those hopes mama has for me will now diminish and I fear to see her heart breaking again because of me. These thoughts kept me shedding tears while he started calling his friends to tell them the news. After about 6 different phone conversations, bi finally sat down to comfort me. He said he doesn’t want me crying because it might stress our child. He added that he/she is a great blessing and we should NEVER make him/her feel unwanted. He hugged me, looked at my then flat belly and put his ear on it, trying to hear if our young will pounce or kick.

I stopped crying, smiled and felt sorry for baby. Hurting him is something I would never want. I had my first check-up afterward, bought folic acid and ate Jollibee’s meatballs for snacks. After all, we found out about it the first day those meatballs were served in all Jollibee outlets nationwide.:) (February 7, 2011 — Monday, 3:30PM)