Mommy/housewife mode

For more than two weeks now that I have been unemployed, I did nothing but tended to my baby Evo and husband dear. The first week went by a bit easy since Evo’s nanny Kimberly helps me take care of Evo. I was able to cook lunch and dinner for bi that time. His menu last week includes spaghetti, pork caldereta, pork giniling, beef steak, chicken macaroni soup, and pork in mushroom and oyster sauce. I stopped cooking when Evo’s nanny left again to take care of his father currently confined in the hospital. I kinda doubt that. We told her to return by Monday, July 23 since it is my first day of work at the City Information Office. Unfortunately, she ditched us again. We tried calling her but to no avail. She doesn’t even answer our calls. My career in CIO was compromised because of what she did. I cannot leave my son unattended so I have no other choice but to stay home and take care of Evo. I just texted ate Marvie that I am hoping to start working by August 1 as soon as we find a new nanny for Evo. It’s July 31 now but still there’s no sign of Kimberly nor new nanny applicant. Sigh…

Staying at home made me realize that I too have been losing some of my stuffs too. I lost my sunnies, Lee jeans, couple of walking shorts, nightie shirts, and Bench panties. I told bi about it and found out that mommy lost plenty of valuable items as well. She lost her ring, watch, some cash, new top, digicam, plenty more. This is really bad. 

I passed!

Talk about first time luck:P Thank you Lord! It feels so good that I passed the civil service professional exam. Now I can enter in government service. Guys if you took the CSC-PPT exam last May 27, 2012, results are out now. Just click this link if you are from Region 4. Results of other regions are already posted as well. I hope you guys made it too. Good luck to all of us! http://philboardresults.blogspot.com/2012/06/region-iv-civil-service-exam-results.html

I just saw the results today here in office because a fellow facebook friend posted that he had passed. I tried looking for CSC-PPT exam 2012 results online until I saw the link I posted above. Nervous, I slowly scrolled down the surnames beginning in A for fear that I might cry if I didn’t see mine posted. Then, all of a sudden, I just shrieked. #51 Alberto, Joanne Catherina P. I passed! I couldn’t help but smile and be thankful. When I finished my test paper last May 27, I left the testing room with a heavy heart. I don’t have expectations about passing since it was really a difficult exam. I headed straight home from JJ, told bi how tough the exam was, kissed Evo, and then went to sleep since my neck ached badly after 3 long hours of shading ovals with my head bowed down. I had troubles with the Algebra part, and English was really a handful. Now I know why there are other UP graduates who flunked the exam according to bi. Gah. All I wanted to do was forget about it. A week after exam, I immersed myself in bi & I’s post-anniversary vacation in Palawan, and it helped me forget. I felt so bad thinking all along I did not make it that I decided not to talk about it until today. 

Thank you Lord for hearing my prayers. Without You I could not have made it on my first attempt. Thank for pushing me to take chances, to finally take that exam. I just posted a blog a while ago about my resignation from a private firm that I worked with for nearly 4 years, and one of the reasons I deferred plans of taking CSC-Professional exams before. I feel better now knowing that when I return for work, I can finally enter in government service. I now have the option to choose applying in a government agency nearer home for my son Evo. Thanks bi for constantly telling me the importance of taking CSC-Prof for government service opportunity. Thank you also ate Gzeth, and Mark for the CSC reviewers. I can try my luck now in the Municipal Trial Court. 

One bold move

One more day to go before I leave Ormin Power Inc., the company I have served for almost four years. I know I am taking a brave move doing this. I am not sure what good I may get from this aside from finally being able to stay with my baby Evo for the mean time.

I used to think I have the best job. I have witnessed Ormin Power Inc. molded out from its humble beginnings and nothing is more rewarding than being part of something big right now. I knew I had to move in the plant site soon. However, I was caught off guard with the accompanying changes that instantly occurred upon the start of the diesel plant’s operation. Sudden shift in my work environment primarily the distant plant site which forbids us to go home during lunch breaks, smoke-filled air caused by the engines and neighboring generators, extreme heat, and disturbing bomb-like noises filled my days at work. Despite these health hazard factors, I still gave it a try for three months until circumstances beyond my control made me realize I can no longer continue. With Evo being left with daddy back home because his nanny took AWOL after getting her 2-month cash advance, I knew that I had to resign immediately. So last June, after thinking long and hard and consulting bi for my final decision, I made a bold move – resigned. I notified JYY last June 21, and he replied that we should talk about it first. Just last Thursday we talked about it. He listened in my sentiments and reasons for leaving. I was somehow touched when JYY said that I am an asset, and it would be difficult for them letting me go. He tried to offer solutions but admitted that career growth is something OPI cannot give at the moment. I was assured though that in case they will have a job opportunity that may merit my qualifications, they will give me a call. With that we had an agreement. 

I have no comment when it comes to my office mates. I am very happy with them. They are all kind, and we work here as a team. Had our office been situated in a place nearer home, I would have stayed regardless if my career growth. My immediate supervisors are both kind, and supportive unlike bi’s; they are simply miles apart. I already miss my office mates. I know I will still be leaving with a heavy heart but my reason to leave has greater depth than  to stay. This is one scary move, leaving the work I have greatly familiarized myself with, and maybe starting back from scratches the moment I decided to apply for work again. Bu who knows? I gave up bigger opportunities already like UNTV and TV10 networks, this time I just need to compose myself again. 

What I should think about now is that soon I will be spending more time with my baby and my hubby already.

Fury over hubby’s boss

What kind of supervisor would send his/her employee to an NPA-besieged area for a worthless task beyond his/her job description? You are supposed to protect the life of your workers, not endanger them! You’re also married right? What would you do if your spouse’s boss ordered him/her go to a war zone to look for a missing shoelace? Would you let your spouse go there knowing how foolish that task is, and that he/she might never return alive? Do you even know the word empathy? I guess not because you wouldn’t even consider sending any of your employees in that horrible place if you know that word.

For months I have endured the ordeal you had put my husband through. You acerbically cut down his monthly travel reimbursements, assigned him to far-flung areas especially during the time that I just gave birth, deliberately denied him his per diem, made him work beyond office hours without OT pay, punished co-workers akin to him, and consistently oppressed him at any given chance. I lost count of the times my husband had arrived home late at night exhausted after driving a hundred kilometers back and forth from his area or famished after leaving office past 9PM. I can no longer remember how many times I consoled my husband from depression after receiving his monthly TEV that you had decreased unjustly. And this doesn’t end there. Couple months ago, he was stricken with chronic pneumonia, and was scheduled for infirmary confinement. He declined hospital admission orders so his doctors just advised him to rest at home for two weeks. Instead of granting him ample time to recuperate, you gave him orders to travel to Roxas for field work. I argued with him not to leave but to no avail. Despite his illness, he still left me and Evo for fear of being reprimanded of inaction to your orders. To sum up, my husband is overworked yet underpaid; overqualified but belittled; intelligent but silenced (for you call his witty, and systematic suggestions nothing but “epal”); helpful but abused (he always offers driving for her using his own DMAX pick-up whether paid or not); and most of all, he is output-based yet disregarded. The only flaw I see in him is being tardy at times yet he compensates it for working extra hours UNPAID even until dawn or during weekends just to accomplish his tasks.

Why are you punishing him for being honest, systematic and straightforward? Did it badly hurt your ego when he wrote in his report the mistakes he had observed in your past activities? Did he smudge your reputation when he vented out his feelings to a sympathetic supervisor? You are a team leader for chrissake why can’t you be open to suggestions? You are not being bypassed like what you always complain about your employees. Please stop being a slave driver. Stop driving me and my husband insane! It’s no secret that your priority is work over family, but please NEVER force your employees to emulate you. They have their own family and a happy life waiting for them beyond the four corners of your office and after the mandated regular working hours.

My husband told me not to post anything about his supervisor for it might jeopardize his work. I don’t care anymore. I have been quiet and patient, but she’s getting worse and now, I have to intervene. When he told me yesterday that his boss instructed him to go to Lisap, Bongabong, a mountainous area notoriously populated by rebels/NPA, I almost fainted. An affluent-looking civilian going in rebels’ territory is suicide! I couldn’t bear the thought of him getting mobbed, kidnapped, hurt, or worse, killed. I will not allow her insane order to validate a petty hunch about a double entry beneficiary endanger my husband’s life. I’ve had enough of her nonsense and coercive actions with my husband. I must act now. Writing this is the first step; composing myself to confront her soon is next. I must add, I am now finding ways to report her directly to the head office. 

 

Farewell nanay Carmen

My beautiful nanay, mother of papa, passed away Friday last week at the age of 79, three days short of her 62nd elopement anniversary with mamay. Now, she suffers no more. She was only 73 when she was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease, and had suffered from then on. She was in poor health in the last days of her life having been confined in Mediatrix Lipa. Earlier this year, nanay had suffered from mild stroke. This led to her other complications. Her lungs had failed from pneumonia, and then she can no longer eat which made her even weaker. In order to sustain her life, my aunts, uncles and cousins all contributed for nanay’s medical needs. Tubes were first fitted into her nostrils so that she can have food intakes. The last time I saw her was last year on Tope’s 25th birthday when we paid her and mamay a visit. She was thin, lying on her bed with her nannies, and murmurs few words like a baby. She can no longer remember anyone of us.

When I mama broke the news, I felt sad because I had lost another grandparent this year, my lolo Panching just last March, same date with nanay Carmen which was also 22. I was sad because will miss nanay. I thought about the time when nanay used to take care of me, ate Gzeth & Jen because my parents had moved back in Mindoro on 1996. I remembered the days that before I leave for Montesorri, nanay would prepare our sumptuous meals with the help of our yaya Alma/Eva. When I had been ill from german measles, nanay accompanied me to the pediatrician and took care of me. Looking back, I felt grateful again for the love nanay had poured unto us.

Bracing ourselves for the unruly tides, Stephen, mama, and I took the last Supercat trip to Batangas. I just had to see nanay on her final night. Looking at nanay peacefully resting inside her elegant, dark, narra, coffin, I was awestruck. She was so beautiful, had looked like 15 years younger, and mestiza as ever. Her cheeks were plump and rosy, her grey hair now as black as ebony, the way it used to be before her Alzheimer’s took her memory; and her thin yet lovely lips arched in a delightful smile. She looked so happy and so much at peace now; free from the sufferings her body had endured in the last days of her life. She was the beautiful nanay Carmen who traveled in the United States with mamay, and had returned because they badly missed their family. She had cried when her father, and mother whom I met twice years ago died of old age. She had attended my first holy communion, scolded me when I said that the wine that symbolized as the blood of Christ tastes bad, taught me how to pray with the rosary, eat hawot, large beans, and sayote grown by mamay from our backyard, took me to the cathedral and tuklong  to pray fervently, and taught about pamamalengke at the age of 7. Her good-natured self once made her and mamay a “Huwarang Senior Citizen Awardee of 2002.”

She was a God-fearing, kind, and lovely mestiza barrio lass of Aya, San Jose, Batangas who had captured the hearts of numerous lads including the grandfather of my old friend who now lives somewhere in the west coast. On her grave, mamay repeatedly thanked her for the love, care, children and memories she had shared with him. She had chosen mamay from among her suitors, and loved him, and their brood endlessly. And we love you too our dear nanay Carmen Andal-Perez. 

Underground river, check!

I still feel like we just left Palawan yesterday. What is left with us are just memories. No words could describe Palawan’s nature. Watching tortoises swim in the crystal green water near our boat going to Underground river was definitely breathtaking. I want to come back there, and when that time comes, bi & I will be taking our little Evo with us. 

This I promise you

When I first laid eyes on you way back in high school, I thought to myself, “Ang yabang naman nitong taong ‘to.” Masyado ka kasing popular, maingay, masayahin at maporma. Truth is, parang artista ka sa JJ noon. It never occurred to me that we’ll ever get to know each other. We were different in many ways kasi friendly ka, loner ako, confident ka, coy ako. Nilalampasan lang natin noon ang isa’t isa at kailanman hindi mo ako nakita.

Six years later, college na tayo pareho when our paths finally crossed. You just saw me on TV then yun na, ginulat mo na ako kasi you tried to find a way to get introduced to me. Magpapakilala ka pa lang noon sakin, binara na kita by saying, “Oo, kilala kita. Ikaw yung mayabang noong high school.” It stunned you but that didn’t stop you from making friends with someone like me. From that day onwards, you never made me feel sad or left-out. You embraced my weaknesses and my strengths, and showered me with a love I’ve never felt before. You introduced me to your loving tropa, your kind parents, kay Bunik, kina Negro dog, Whitey at later sa anak nilang sina Juni. Tinuruan mo ako magbowling, mag-bilyar, pumili ng damit na hindi jologs, makipagbonding sa iba at kung anu-ano pa. Ikaw lang naman yung nagpakilala sakin, pero ang dami ng bonus. It made me cry the day you sheepishly admitted how much you have fallen in love with me. Hindi na ako loner kasi dumating ka sa buhay ko.

Looking back, I can’t help but smile; kasi yung lalaki palang sinasabing kong mayabang, sya pala yung lalaking mamahalin ko ng sobra-sobra. Sya pala yung magiging very best friend, kumare, cheerleader at defender ko. Yung mayabang na lalaki palang yun noon, sya na pala ang magiging pinaka-gwapong lalaki na nakilala ko. Almost 4 years later, ikaw na pala ang lalaki na magiging great half ko. Til now I keep asking myself, papano kung hindi ka kaya nakapanood ng newsline noon, magkakakilala pa rin kaya tayo? It was in God’s grace that our fates brought us together. It was truly magical.

Our love, it was one of a kind. It had surpassed a lot of trials. Kahit lagi tayo tumatakas noon kasi magagalit sina mama at papa satin, hindi pa rin tayo nagpaawat. Nalampasan na natin ang drama na yun, and I’m thankful na dumating satin ang stage na yun, kasi it helped us a lot. Kasi it made our relationship stronger. Kung yun nga nalampasan natin, how much more pa ang ibang pagsubok na darating satin di ba? In this celebration of our holy matrimony, we are not only sealing our love and union before God; God is here with us to remind us also that He blessed us with our wonderful families and friends who will constantly remind us that we should remain true to our vows that we will always be faithful and loving with each other.

Tope, I am so happy because although I didn’t ask for love, God gave me someone so special, someone I would gladly give my hopes, dreams and whole life for. I know I am truly blessed because God gave me YOU. Tope, I will always be here for you and for our child. I’m yours ‘til the day we breathe our last breath. I love you baby, in its deepest, purest sense. 

— This vow is somewhat a synthesized account of my hubby and I’s love story; how it blossomed, and the obstacles it surpassed. During our wedding ceremony, I can’t help but cry while telling him these words. The contents of our vows were our delightful surprise to each other that day.

Palawan, here we come!

Two more days to go, and we’ll already be there in Palawan. I’m pretty excited on bi & I’s upcoming first wedding post-anniversary celebration together. Better late than never. We’ll definitely be like young honeymooners even though our purpose is more of relaxation, and traveling together actually.What I did today in preparation for our trip was read blogs about random people who had already experienced cruising in the famed Underground river. I can’t help but get dumbstruck looking at the crystal green waters in their pictures. If I’m already amazed simply by looking at the river’s pictures, how much more if I’m seeing the whole place up close?

It will take us approximately 3 long drive hours going to Sabang beach from Pto. Princesa city proper. From there, we’ll take a 15-minute boat ride going to the Subterranean river. It is advisable to wear light clothes like swimming shorts, plain t-shirts, and slippers if bi and I would like to take a dip in the nearby white sand beach afterwards. I better slather more sunblock. I am now thinking of investing in a pricey SPF120 sunscreen just to protect my naturally pale, not rosy white, skin tone. This will be my first time in three years to expose myself under the sun for hours. I have issues regarding prolonged sun exposure especially without umbrella because some years ago when I still love playing under the sun for hours, I compared myself to others, and got stunned with such an alarming result. Well, unlike others I didn’t get the glorious, matte-tanned summer complexion, instead, I became heavily oiled and bronzed all over! But I don’t want to compromise our tour so I’m gonna step out of the sun, and have fun with him. I have a feeling that it’s gonna be all worth it:)

Bi and I also bought a bikini recently for this particular trip. I’m kinda hoping I could have guts to try it on, and maybe capture some nice shots wearing it (with a decent cover-up of course) with the lush green tropical trees and pristine waters as my background. Bi won’t allow me to wear it without cover up by the way. What more can I say? I am just so excited. Before we go there we’ll be watching a PBA game live too with bi’s boys. I am rooting for Rain or Shine to win over Ginebra Kings, and seeing them win will definitely bring good vibes to me, and bi.

Yes, I’m a news caster

I mentioned in my previous posts that I am a local tv newscaster, and I really am. I have been news casting for the past 6 years which I simply love doing. I’m very passionate about this craft yet I threw away my chances to bring myself to a higher level (news casting nationwide/worldwide) when I gave up my stint at UNTV, and another opportunity at ABS-CBN10.

Let’s do this:)

I got a call from ate Joy a minute ago, and she asked if I’m still up for, you know, pursuing what I once dreamt of becoming. I cited reasons like financial constraints, and time as to why I haven’t signed up yet but before I ended our conversation, I disclosed how interested I still am. 

I set June 11 as our tentative date. No pad, no other plans. What should I take with me? All I can bring is a blank check which I will present upon payment of the necessary fees. I’m excited but full of apprehensions at the same time. I am just happy my incredibly smart cousin, ate Joy, will be my classmate too. 

I am currently playing the role of an employee, a wife, and most importantly, a mother. I suppose I am not yet busy enough so I can still include the role of being a student once more. MBA is not enough. I never should have taken it up in the first place. I still regret how much of a waste I’ve done. It’s not too late. I can still do this. I have to do this for my Evo, for my family, and for myself. I always feel minuscule next to my husband but no more once I finished this appalling yet inexplicably force-drawing degree/profession that I have always wanted. God help me.